Yaking Cat Music Studios
"An Ode to S/Link"



 
 

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An Ode to S/Link (an ill-tempered Synclavier program)

Once upon a time in a far away land,
an idea was hatched by an evil man
To create a product without a hope
and sell it to all of us "syncla-dopes"

"Let's make some new software that we can off-load" 
"I can't operate a Sync, but I can sure write the code"
Out of the fire and into the frying pan
S.O.C.  now has something new to push up our collective cans

So they sat right down and formed a plan in a dash
to create a NECESSARY product for those with the cash
"What a splendid idea.  It has potential, agreed?"
"Bravo, Hurray!  Think of all the money!"

So they called their proposal S/Link you see
excited over something that wasn't meant to be
"It looks great on paper" the executives sing
"After all, in this business, that's the most important thing"

The program was written, it looked really keen
They tested it on at least ONE of their machines
"If it works on one, it works on them all"
"If not, oh well, that's not our fault!"

Disk were sold right and left
to owners they have never met
Promising wonders with a gleam in their eye
"Go ahead and kick the tires; take it for a drive"

Got the disk and had it installed
Clicked on the icon, and what should befall?
An error, a crash, a system reboot
Check once, check twice, a call to cancel the "group"

"Down" for the day and left with no choice
Make a long distance call to speak with a voice
"They'll know just what to do" I say to calm myself
-they were just as lost as everyone else

"It's all your fault" the tech support says
"It works over here so it HAS to work there
Try a new cable or more memory or a voodoo chant
Get back to us when you are past your rant"

"One last time", we all collectively said
Flashlight in our mouths, a gun to our heads
we crawl inside our towers to see
just how "wrong" THEY SAID things could be

Working half the time for half of us,
Eyes spinning from all of the dust
We accept our fate with much regret
Cursing those guys we love to hate

Here we go again, the company "folds"
Well you're not the only owner to get the hose
What's that you say?  You need a new plan?
How about "The battle is over, get out while you can"

So for all you brave souls who gave up your lives
to buy the latest and greatest by sacrifice
There is one important point that I must declare
That is quite simply, 
NOBODY CARES!

By Brandon Amison & Brandon Amison, Jr.

S/Link is ACTUALLY a nifty program. Click here to download and click here to learn about proper system configuration.

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brandon@yakingcat.com